"Oh my gosh, that's so cool."

This was an exact quote from Aubrey the other day, and probably my favorite one so far. We are five months post implant activation, and Aubrey is progressing beautifully. We are having so much fun conversing. Yes, we are having conversations! This is something I feared would never happen. She is also eavesdropping on conversations. For instance, I was ordering a pizza via the phone and after I hung up, she said "pizza man coming to our house?" I wondered if I had told her this, but then I realized that she heard me talking on the phone. This may seem like little everyday occurrences to most people, but to us it's the coolest, most amazing event. We go crazy, and Aubrey must think we're crazy! The other day in the car, we about had an accident because Aubrey said: "Daddy, will you sit next to me after we eat?" A ten word sentence that was quite clear. You better believe that daddy sat next to her. :)

Aubrey can also sing the complete ABC's and count to 20 now. She loves to sing, but put her in front of a crowd and she freezes. She gets this honestly from both Tim and I - a double whammy. But, she is quite the social butterfly these days. She is talking more in front of people, even strangers. She is in the phase where she is asking a ton of questions: "who's that?", "who gave to me?", "what's her name?", "what are you talking about?". She always wants to be part of the conversation. Grandma Erb took her to her first play/musical - Pinkalicious. I came along too, and it was so much fun. Aubrey was so engaged and was able to discuss what was going to happen next. Afterwards, she kept talking about how she wanted to go back to Pinkalicious' house and give her a hug.

We continue to be very busy with school and speech. Aubrey's articulation is improving. Some days it feels like it's progressing slow, but according to the research this typically improves over time. Aubrey will be in a childcare setting this summer with typical hearing peers, and it will be interesting to see how this goes. I think it will be very good for her. She will also be in summer school at Northern Voices in July. We are really looking forward to having some fun this summer and enjoying all the amazing things that Aubrey is doing and saying.  In summary, "oh my gosh, that's so cool."

I promise not to go so long with posting a new update. I don't know where the time goes!

Be careful what you say

It has been a little over two months since Aubrey's CI activation, and she is doing well. We are starting to notice eavesdropping capabilities that she didn't have prior to receiving a CI. Tim and I were talking about something and Tim said "that really sucks", and all of a sudden we hear Aubrey say "that sucks." This was a wake up call, as she can now overhear our conversations. This is very cool, and yet at the same time we now have to be careful what we say. I will take it.

Aubrey is also starting to have longer sentence utterances. The other day she said "my favorite color is pink." This was probably the most clear, long sentence we've heard. It seems like she is progressing more and more each day. The audiology sound booth tests have been great, and she is consistently picking up sound at 25 dbls, which is right where we want her to be. She is also very confident with the ling sounds and whips through them like nothing.

Her favorite statements right now are "don't touch, that's mine" or "I can do it by myself." She especially likes to say "don't touch" when I try to take her implant off. She is very protective of her implant. If it does come off, she puts it back on while saying "I can do it by myself." As you can see, she is becoming quite vocal and we love it. Even when she says "I don't like that" after I've spent hours baking something special for her. :)

Success, Tough Decisions, and No Regrets

There have been a lot of discussions on the AN/AD listserve lately regarding CI "success".  I put "success" in quotes because this is defined differently case by case and it's also very subjective. Someone pointed out that we never hear about the bad CI stories or unsuccessful implant kiddos. I know there are people out there who didn't see the success they'd hoped for, and the reasons for this are all over the board. It could be an ear anatomy issue, other developmental challenges, etc. This is just another reason why deciding to implant is such a difficult decision. The outcome cannot be predicted and there is so much unknown.

However, I knew that if we did this, we were going to have to be committed to extensive auditory verbal and speech therapy. Tim and I also have to provide a good listening and learning environment at home, in the car, and the list goes on. Every moment is now a teaching moment. When the phone rings, I pause and say "listen, did you hear that" - it's the telephone ringing." It's pretty crazy, and I'm sure Aubrey wants to smack me sometimes - heck, I want to smack myself.

The best quote I've heard related to CI success is that "10% is the hardware and 90% is the software!" I think this sums it up perfectly, but I also know there will be parents who do it all and will not see the success they'd hope for. We are just a little over a month into Aubrey's CI activation and people think she is doing well, but I have to admit that I have fears that her speech may not get better. She still talks like she did prior to the CI. I know it's early, but it's still scary. I also have to remember that she has talked like this for so long and it does not correct overnight. It's a major re-learning process. But, still scary since you're never quite sure. I just wish I could get inside her head!!

I was also reminded this week of how we got here. Someone posed the question: "Does anyone regret doing a CI." I have no regrets. Even if Aubrey's speech does not improve dramatically, her listening bubble and access to sound has increased substantially. I'm having conversations with her from a distance, in background noise, and without her looking at my mouth. It's truly a miracle. Getting to this point was not easy. There are many people facing the decision to implant or not implant, and I read about it frequently on the listserve. I sent an e-mail to the listserve describing how we made the decision to implant. I will post it here in hopes that it can reach more people:

It took us a long time to make the decision to do a CI. Aubrey's team said that if she ever plateaued in her development that we could discuss a CI further. This helped calm me down a bit. I was hoping the "plateau" would not happen, but it did. We felt very good about waiting as long as we did before implanting. We needed to feel 100% confident in this decision. So, on November 22, she was implanted and I felt so at peace. Everyone was surprised at how calm I was. I really believe it was because we did everything we could before doing the CI, gave her the services necessary, and gave her time. We also waited until we were confident that Aubrey absolutely needed it. This is the only advice I can give. It was the hardest decision we've made, but I have no regrets!

Three weeks since activation

Aubrey had her first sound booth testing since her CI activation three weeks ago. I had the privilege of sitting in front of Aubrey and assisting with the testing. I was able to see her reactions. It was truly amazing, and at one point I said to Melissa "there is no way she can here this." Some of the sounds were so soft, but Aubrey seemed to hear them and proceeding to look up, open her mouth wide, smile, and put the toy in place. I could have cried, but I was in shock and kept thinking this could not be real. It's real. She is hearing sounds she never heard before. She is responding to the telephone when it rings, hearing the doorbell, and my whispers. Aubrey's teacher, Tanya, was ecstatic today and said that Aubrey was hearing so much more even in noise and from a distance. Aubrey is also responding to voices, directions, and repeating words without reading lips. We hugged, jumped up and down, and teared up a bit. It's the coolest thing in the world. I'm so proud of her and amazed at the access this implant has given her in just three weeks. Her articulation is slowly improving, and this is the piece that will take a lot of work and time. I just need to be patient. What a cool day! I'm truly overjoyed.